Career blogger Penelope Trunk writes about a wedding in the family of her new SO, whom she calls "the farmer." She talks about the difficulty she has answering the question "where are you from?"
Usually, saying I'm from Madison gives me a rash. Not a visible one, but maybe like a brain rash or something. So usually I say I'm from New York City.
(Side note: This is a good lesson in resume writing here, really. Because this is not a lie but not the first truth that comes to mind, but I always feel like it makes me look good, which is how you should look at a resume.
The farmer, by the way, thinks that it's a lie. He thinks I should say I'm from Wilmette. Which is the town I grew up in and haven't lived in in 25 years, and the last time I was there I wasn't even living in a house but in a mental ward because I was so insanely bulimic. But he still thinks Wilmette is the right answer.
I ignore that. I am the resume expert, after all.)
I have a similar problem. During our recent visit to Santa Fe and Albuquerque, Julie and I encountered a lot of people making smalltalk, who'd ask us, "Where are you from?"
The answer, for me, is complicated. I grew up in New York, specifically Long Island, specifically East Northport, which is a village in Huntington Township. That is where I consider myself to be "from" -- except I love New York City too, and lived my early childhood in Brooklyn, and have many happy memories of that. So I'm "from" New York City and Brooklyn, too.
However, I moved out of the New York metropolitan area 16 years ago, and then Julie and I got together and we moved to San Francisco 15 years ago, and then San Diego 11 years ago. And I've come to think of San Diego as home,
Julie has her own history to struggle with when asked that question: She was born and raised in Columbus, and is a proud Buckeye, but even before she met me she lived in San Diego, Laguna Beach, and the Boston Area.
However, people making smalltalk don't want all that information -- they just want to know where you're from.
I noticed on our New Mexico trip that Julie has a simple solution:
PERSON MAKING SMALLTALK: "Where are you from?"
JULIE: "We live in San Diego."
Which is a satisfactory answer, and the one I'll use from now on. Always the same words: "We live in San Diego."
Although, actually, we don't really live in San Diego -- we live in La Mesa, a suburb outside of San Diego. But "We live in San Diego" is the best answer. And we do live in San Diego County.
People asking questions often don't want the complete answer, they just want a good-enough answer, even if the good-enough answer feels inadequate to the person answering the question, especially when the question is simple and seems like it should have a simple answer, but the actual answer is a bit of a hairball.
Stephen King talks about dealing with his neighbors in the small town where he lives. When he encounters people around town and they ask him, "What are you working on, Steve?" he always responds, "I'm taking a break." Because, he says, he's learned through trial and error that's the only answer that will satisfy them.
(Unfortunately, I read that article years ago and can't find the link.)
Now I need to think of an answer to the question: Where do you get ideas for your articles?
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